Thank you for your thoughtful essay. I freely admit that I saw myself — I too was ‘bookish’ — often in the piece. I feel the same now as you did in 1987 about weaponry, despite being a Vet.
I think you are on the right track — since there’s not an effective ‘parenting handbook’ out there for comparison — and cannot go wrong if your sons know you love them unconditionally, to value themselves, respect and sympathize (if not empathize) with all other humans, and do the best that they can to learn everything they can. Might does not make right.